"She's moody, she's grey, she's mean, and she's restless." It was foggy this morning when I left to take the kids to school. It was still foggy after I returned home so I grabbed my camera to go out and do some shooting of a different mood.
So much of this natural light portrait photography is dependent upon just that, natural light. Yet, this is natural light and just as beautiful - our monotone December. But wait! It's not monotone, for some reason our autumn has clung to the trees until just before winter.
I'm making an effort to spend time outdoors to do landscape photography.
So, my photography confession is that I generally shoot on program mode and adjust my aperture. I don't worry about the shutter speed I let the camera do part of the work and I don't over think it.
So I started messing around with shutter speed. Oh. Yeah. I also use autowhite balance sometimes because I think cloudy white balance looks awful. I could do a custom white balance which I always did back in the days of shooting with my Canon Rebel but why bother? I can do any post color corrections in Lightroom. So, I'm a little lazy sometimes especially when I'm out on my walks.
So, now that I've cleansed my soul and confessed my photography sin of being a program mode shooter. I do not shoot in jpeg. I will not shoot in jpeg. NO! You cannot and will not have all the files. If you want "all the files" go buy a camera. I don't show you all the photos in what I shoot for my own enjoyment - you won't see all the files for a portrait session. Do. Not. Ask. If you want all the files find someone else to do your photography and ask them in advance not after the shoot. I tell you twenty edited images on a disc. That is your session. Some people only give 10-15 images.
So I played today. I can't wait until Christmas break when I only have weddings on the books for 2015.
I'm still booked up with four session weekends and still a week behind in editing. I'm tired.
So this is entertaining: Google is Illuminati
I NEED A BREAK. I am truly humbled by being booked so heavily. I do enjoy meeting new people and I do enjoy taking the portraits. But, I'm tired.
So. I'm editing photos, while I upload my foggy photos.
So, I find myself looking forward to these grey, rainy days. I'm waiting on the winter of fifty degree days when my messages go silent and my phone stops ringing. It's funny that I've spent my life feeling like an outcast and unaccepted since I was a kid. But being busy is exhausting. I know there has been a lot of writing about introverted people. I am one of them.
I like being by myself.
I'm tired. I need a week without messages, inquiries and editing portraits. I need to be caught up. I haven't really been caught up since July. It's been a very strange year.
It's amazing how this little hobby of mine began back in 2009 and has turned into fielding calls and booking sessions.
I shot these at our farm the other night and I'm very pleased with the outcome.
So it was worth the $5 teddy bear.
While I update my portraiture work... I just love when people come to me at my places because I know the when, where and what works.
I don't normally share portraits on here but these were too beautiful not to share.
My niece came to me for engagement photos last week.
It's cheesy, but it's love. :-) I have so many more photos to share from this summer, I feel no end in sight for working on portraits until at least November.
Thursday morning I walked out the door to see this... peeking above the neighbors trees. I went back indoors and grabbed the most convenient lens and camera combination. My three year old 7D and the 18-135 lens. Which I just read will be the new "kit lens" for the new 7D Mark II (which sounds pretty sweet).
Since my kids are attending schools miles away my mornings and afternoons are filled with commuting and dropping them off, I am driving roughly three hours a day for them to attend the schools of their choice. I'm cranky and tired and rushed. My weekends are booked with photography (which is a blessing) and I'm busy in my frustration and discontent.
So as we exit New Highway 7 to return to Old Highway 7 I stopped and took this out of the car window.
Thursday morning we were late. Really late. My Mom who meets us was also late by about five minutes and I was drooling over the gorgeous, incredible sunrise which I usually have to ignore and drive on and miss the beauty that the world brings us every morning.
Whenever you are creating beauty around you, you are restoring your own soul. ~Alice Walker
Okay, so I'm reading about a field of academic work that I just learned about called "Memory Studies" - this is new for me, but I think it may be exactly what I am fascinated with. I'm fascinated with how different the experience is behind the camera is and how the viewer experiences this moment. While I know I was hauling ass down the road to get my kids to school. I knew I desperately wanted to say to hell with this whole concept of tardiness and punishment for them being late- I couldn't. I snuck my moments in and captured this sunrise. Isn't learning interesting and how you need the words, and vocabulary to explore further into new areas. Without that vocabulary you can't always put your thoughts into action.
Just like I feel that most people recognize excellent photography and what makes a good composition, yet they lack the knowledge to know what sets one photographer apart from another. They are lacking the technical knowledge and vocabulary to explain why someone is better or why an image works or does not. Without that knowledge you are limited in your thoughts.
A rare powerline shot that I edited just for you. I really don't like powerlines.
Sometimes we just need the sky. The revenue from my photography business is officially taking on the level of a "job," so how can I balance my love between working on edits for customers?
When does a goal oriented person stop and say "that's enough." I give up. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't matter anymore. I can't. Anyways - I am tired. So goodnight readers.
I had a busy day and needed a bag of ice from the gas station. So I jogged around town the long way and captured this image. I am tired and have a headache but it was still a very nice day. I've been overwhelmed with wedding edits and just can't make a lot of time for landscapes until they are out of my house. Because weddings cause me anxiety and I can't relax until I know the bride has her images, because those memories are forever and capturing them is an important part of the wedidng process.
So, I was out taking pictures near the small town of Edison Nebraska on Friday. I had a man in a truck stop, watch me, turn around come back and ask me "What are you doing?" - Ummmmm... what does it look like I"m doing? I'm taking photos of the beautiful Republican River Valley during the golden hour on a crisp September day.
First of all a woman out taking photographs alone doesn't like to be confronted. Now, the dude (who I gave my card to- and said I was a photographer)..I hope you read this. Made a comment that I was photographing "his land" - well, actually I was photographing the river valley - the spectacular clouds and I was standing on the public road, which I informed him.
Who wouldn't take pictures in this lighting?
Of course this lighting is difficult to edit sometimes.
So if you see someone out taking photographs on a gorgeous afternoon on a public road do me a favor and LEAVE THEM ALONE. Especially if you are a man and they are a woman. It's really not your business what people do while on the road.
Photography is not a crime. Just because my camera is more sophisticated and I'm not taking pictures with my cell phone doesn't mean I'm scoping out your land Mister Farmer Man. It is much more about the lighting and the place I happen to be. But, as a blogger, I will write about anything relevant to my life and of course this incident was a little on the annoying side since I have rarely been bothered while out taking photographs. My husband's family owns five houses in this town, so I imagine I have just as much right to be out shooting in Edison Nebraska as anyone.
I love the lighting on days like this. I don't feel any desire to ramble about my emotions or any other nonsense.
I guess it is a visual thing that people want to connect photos with a particular emotion, the stormy skies. The lighting. I love this lighting, it excites me.
I'm still super excited about this macro lens. I'm really enjoying it! Yesterday (and today) I shot with both bodies of my cameras so I could keep the macro lens on and left my fairly wide angle telephoto on the other body (but not the actual wide angle) - just the 24/70.
Photography and being outdoors just for the sake of being outdoors makes me feel better. I dont' know why I share so many images, I guess I know not everyone has a life where they can go drive five miles for wide open spaces, or a farm to walk around on.
I am tired of people. But I will never get tired of this view.
I am tired of this road though. I am traveling it two to three times a day, complete with dust and oilfield traffic. I'm sick of that too.
I love this tree in this field. I don't really know why. Aren't you lucky I allow you a window into the illusions that I allow you to see?
When I'm busy with portraits I just don't have time to update this page with the meaningless nonsense that I enjoy. But I really don't have a lot to say, it was good to get outside and shoot it always makes me feel better. Maybe though it would be good just to get outside and sit more often. I realize that in the past few years I've always been walking, running or doing something physical and not spending enough time just outside. I have more photos from today to post, but I realize I didn't post yesterday's photos.
Today is the second day in a row that I went to the gym and I went out and just shot photographs for fun. So I feel better today. Tomorrow I will return to the weight room and the machines and maybe the pool.
This was with that nifty little 100mm macro - the sun had set, I was sitting on the dam by the pond and saw this little bitty spider resting on the flower.
Don't be one of these...
So, I think portrait photography makes me negative. I love shooting portraits for people, but it makes me very judgmental of other people's work. Probably because every single time I'm mentioned as a suggestion as a photographer on the "Buy/Sell/Trade" pages - another twenty people are also suggested as potential portrait photographers. Yet, I love looking at other people's photography. So I started a page for people to post their beautiful Oklahoma photos. I mean after all I've been posting Oklahoma photos here for over four years now. I want to see other people's work. Beautiful Oklahoma Group on Facebook-- so now I want to see YOUR beautiful Oklahoma.
Oil rigs drilling, tractors... this is Oklahoma.
I love the 24/70 lens too. Wow. Look at the bokeh from the rig!
The sun had set... and man, I still can shoot macro. It's pretty awesome.
WHAT THE DUCK. Yeah, the duck likes to sit under my carport and eat bugs as they go to the porch light. Squawkers the duck.
The Rooster says... turn those car headlights off, I'm trying to get some sleep.
I can't ever get everything straight. So I go out and take photos.
So I have this, when I feel like nothing goes right.
I turned down another wedding today. This is the third one I can't take because I'm booked. I sure could use the money. I hate money. I hate the stress of being in debt.
I hate that my life after my Master's Degree has turned into my hobby being the thing that is making me a little money. I don't want to be a meaningless cog in a corporate machine. I want independent kids.
It's still over 100 degrees out - but I took the cameras out anyways. For a while this afternoon and this evening again. It made me feel better.
I'm just frustrated this evening. I'm happy with the photos that I shot today. The 100mm macro lens is incredibly cool. The depth of field though is very small.
I don't feel like I'm maximizing my abilities.
I never wanted to be a photographer.
My friend just said "I need to stop being scared" - in a discussion. I do too. I've always been so trapped into the idea that I can only be a teacher. That's all I can do. Yet, there should be so much more.
But if I start pursuing something lucrative, for me, using my skill set. I would be "selfish" - because it may lead me away.
I don't like feeling dependent when I know I can make $50,000 a year just by being in another state. It frustrates me and makes me angry. I don't like interviewing for jobs by people who are so unprofessional they don't have the common courtesy to tell me that I don't have the job. I don't like knowing that 8 years of teaching experience with a MA is not helping me get a teaching job. It seems counterintuitive. I'd think you'd want to hire an individual with more education and experience than less.
But I do enjoy a good sunset...
Everything will be better tomorrow. It always is.