Expedition Oklahoma

A Sunset to Remember

Tonight, I captured some of the most memorable sunset photos I ever will experience.   Not, that it was a remarkably gorgeous sunset with whispy, cotton candy clouds dancing across the setting sky.  No, nothing that romantic..  Romantic, doesn't come into mind as I recollect this evening's happenings.   

I was asked to help babysit for a while this afternoon.  Of course, I had the opportunity to see my favorite two year old and babysit a very cute little baby boy.  I also, knew that they were heading into town and I could send my 14 year old with them to go to Gamestop and do the rest of his Christmas gift card shopping.   Of course, who likes taking their teenagers shopping?  Not me, so I thought I was being pretty smart.   Well,  I also thought I was quite smart by taking the puppy Yumi, who Lil' Miss adores and loved to pieces at Christmas.   I thought, that I would be babysitting the baby boy and Lil Miss would occupy herself with tormenting my baby pup.   She did.  She had a blast with the puppy.   Now, as Lil' Mr. was very fussy and I certainly am out of practice with baby tears, I didn't know what to do.  I was glad when everyone arrived back from town and was even bragging about how "Nice it is to have teenage boys."   Yeah, I said that.   

So, I'm taking the scenic backroad home.  Which, most of the roads are backroads home and they are all fairly scenic but I like this road because its gravel and you have a nice view of the landscape of the area.   I happened to have my camera in the car, and had intended on potentially doing some photography this afternoon.  So, my boy and I load up Yumi and head home, about three miles in the sun is sinking and the puppy is fine, so I pull over and grab the camera and stop to snatch a couple of shots of the sunset.   Not to take too long, because I was ready to cook dinner.  Not being overly concerned with my passengers, I was looking to get a good shot.  

Because there is something deep down inside of us that stops and watches when that celestial orb dips down at the horizon with its glowing embers saying goodnight to our hemisphere.   The clouds that turn from blue and white to glowing displays of pink, orange, purples and reds.  The last breath of daylight promising warmth as the chill of a cold winter's night sinks in.   

The clouds dancing against the horizon in their nightly ceremony.   And my radio blaring Gary Allan's new song "Bones,"  and my Son holding the puppy, in the car eager to be home.  He wanted to play his new video game, there are zombies to kill afterall.   But, he humors his Mother and knows that the light would soon be gone.   And... as I am shooting, something is churning.

"MOM, THE PUPPY JUST PUKED!!!!"...   My 14 year old (with the very weak stomach).  I am frustrated because I'd finally found the shot that I wanted to get!  I run back to the car, find an old sock and hand it to him..  and tell him to cover it up and we'll clean it when we get home.   We weren't THAT far from home.    So,  about ten seconds later I hear gagging...  oh. No.   So I yell at him to put his head out the window and get out of the car...  (and keep shooting, because I'd just got my shot IN FOCUS)!  

My Son, puked on the puppy.  He vomited the remnants of two chocolate milks.  Now, this boy can eat.  He eats often, and he eats a lot.   Now, I run back to the car to see the damage...   he puked all over the puppy.  Not... a little bit on the tail or the ear, but a solid coating of teenage boy vomit, on a one pound yorkshire terrier.   Oh.  My.  God.  The smell.   So, I start laughing.  I start laughing until I cry. So, the boy gets out of the car.   Takes my heavy coat and, I'm still laughing.   Then, I realize... that I will have to DRIVE that car.  I stick my head in the door and realize that I would not be driving anywhere.   So, what's a girl to do?  She calls her Mommy (of course).   I call Mom, still laughing  - but growing cold in the 30 something degree temps and beg her to rescue me with lysol, rags and trash bags and something to wrap the vomit laden pup in. 

This was the shot I was after.... Oh,  the dedication it takes to be a photographer. 

The boy... Did I mention that as soon as we all got out of the car the puppy crawled into the backseat and pooped?   No?  Well she did.  To add to the lovely mingling aromas in the vehicle.  Tomorrow a serious deep cleaning and febreeze is in store for my little car.   

MOMMY!   Oh,  I'm so glad, I didn't have to drive another nine miles with it as horribly stinky as it was.  The mean green cleaner helped, the trash bags helped.  The towel to wrap the puppy in.  Oh, this is why we all love our Mothers... The photo below is graphic..beware...  at least you can't smell it. 

I was not and could not make up or exaggerate this story. So if you're grossed out now.  Just think how the poor puppy felt.  Sorry readers, this is real life.  This happened.  

A palate cleanser of sorts.  Perhaps, had I not stopped to capture the sunset, we'd have made it home slightly less disgusting.  Yet, as disgusting as it was, it was funny and I will probably never, ever as long as I live forget this sunset.  The puppy is home and clean, she had some tummy ache medicine and is sleeping now.   The boy is playing his Christmas games and is recovered.  My car, however will need a deeper cleaning tomorrow.  

 

 

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Snow in December

My heart is heavy tonight.  One of my closest friends lost her father today.  He was ill, but it was not expected, but when is death expected?  It makes my little heart ache seem inconsequential in the grand scheme of life; and it is to a degree.  

It snowed last night, I was in my pajamas and coat and getting some shots of our very brief December snow.   Before I took the boy to school. 

I was excited.  Snow makes me feel like a little kid.  Yesterday was the day that I wanted to go Christmas shopping! I didn't because I was still working on finals.  But, I felt like it was near the holidays!   

It wasn't a lot of snow and it didn't last... but it reminds me of childhood.  Winter.  I know it is something when my friend calls me in the evening.  We have known each other since elementary school.  To have a group of people that you've known since some of your earliest memories is important.   To have a friend who you've maintained even though you moved away, someone you talked to despite not having such a thing as the internet.  That kind of person is important.  

I can't imagine the pain of losing a parent. 

I was the person in my Christmas pajamas and carhartt jacket, photographing the snow.  Classy look, I know, all the cool photographers are doing it. 

I appreciate the woodpile when it's cold out.   I don't have a lot to say, but I'd appreciate prayers for my friend Laura and her family.   

 

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Running Uphill

To Do List

So, posting more photos from my weekend trip to Nebraska has been on my "to do list."  I am by my very own nature, a very disorganized person.  I am regimented, I am stuck in routines, I do the same things day after day, yet a part of me lives in chaos.  My mind jumps, from topic to topic, realizing so much is due at once and yet struggling to break it down so I can accomplish what I need to. Until the last minute.  The last minute, I know I have to get stuff done. I can work through and finish; but often it's not my best work.  I can't seem to gather those best thoughts and words I need to write the paper I'd like.  I do that while I'm running.  While there is no keyboard to type those words down.   

So, my to do list is long. I can't locate my planner filled with the dates, so I must find the syllabus for each class and double check my dates.  Posting these photos were on my "to do list"  - from early October, while it was still green and warm in Oklahoma.   The photo above was taken in NW Kansas.  

Do you ever notice the embedded racism that is everywhere in our society?  Particularly the American Indian symbolism that is culturally accepted by so many as they cheer for their "warriors" - wearing the war bonnet.  Do you ever think that there are people behind these symbols?  That there is still barely 1% of our population that wasn't decimated to disease, warfare, and assimilation that still lives in a traditional way of life.   Think about it, the next time you cheer your Native American Mascot.  Think about how embedded the American Indian is in popular culture and in our society and then look around you. Unless you are in Oklahoma, New Mexico, North Dakota, South Dakota, Washington and Alaska you may not be aware of what you are perpetuating.   

This photo is on the Republican River Valley in Nebraska 

Here is a shot of the town that I called home during 2004-05, while I taught High School on the High Plains.

I used to call this house home.   

Here is a grain elevator in the tiny town of Dresden, Kansas.   I'm reading a novel called "Drowning in Fire," by Craig Womack, it's excellent.  Probably one of the best works of contemporary Native Fiction that I've read so far.  I love the line "drowning in dreams, burning in desires."  It sticks with me, the idea of drowning in your dreams.   The idea of drowning in dreams, is a compelling one.  It's what goes on in our mind while we surrender to unconsciousness that we can't escape.   We can live our lives day to day, but our minds ultimately control us and our actions.   Can you, my readers tolerate a more esoteric me?   Which returns to the idea of audience. Who am I writing for here?  Does it matter if my writing makes sense, or even satisfies my readers?  Not really.  

Filled with grain, the breadbasket of NW Kansas is a sparsely populated region.  

You should watch the video to this song, and look at the photography in it.  Also, I love Gary Allan's music, and his lyrics.  Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)

It's funny when you have photos to finish working on, it bothers you. I knew I wanted to post more photos of this trip, but haven't had time to do it. I really don't have time tonight but I needed a break from reading and thinking.   

So my to-do list isn't any shorter than it was.  I ran 4.5 miles today. I have been being more consistent in my fitness routine.  I started another paper and am almost finished with readings for Tuesday (before Tuesday).  So, I guess I'm not doing too bad.  

These photos were shot along the Republican River valley, near Edison and Oxford Nebraska.  

Here is your required "Nebraska" shot,  corn stalks in the field.  

 

 

 

 Yes, another stupid barbed wire fence.  I feel obligated, to fulfill your barbed wire needs.  I hope you are satisfied with the barbed wire that I bring to you on this site. 

Actually I'm pleased with this shot. I got it to come out the way I imagined it.   I wasn't quite sure how to do my tonal adjustments initially but I made it work.   And with that, I think I can return to the academic world for another hour before I go to sleep.   

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Black Friday

STOP!  Before you read this.  Before you read my ramblings and look at the photos I've  captured today, go...  go now while you have the chance and "Like" my Facebook page:  http://www.facebook.com/ExpeditionOklahoma  While my page has over 80,000 lifetime page views my Facebook promotion is pitiful.   This is your Black Friday offer, like it now, because I don't offer it up to you on this page very often!  And now back to your regularly scheduled blog posting......   

 

I used to love shopping.  I love to go bargain hunting and feel like I was getting a good deal.  I like the feeling that shopping created.  Shopping is about feelings, it wasn't always about the stuff you brought home (that is fun too).   Shopping is very much an emotional rush, followed by the guilt of all the money you spent that you didn't necessarily need to, in buying stuff you don't necessarily need to survive. I like the idea of getting the really good bargain, despite the fact that advertising and "sales" are meant to help corporate America get their profits that they need to maintain sustainable businesses.  I didn't go this year.  When you realize that companies act on cycle after cycle of binge buying and television shows lead us to believe that we need this rampant consumerism to satsify our primitive urges- we follow blindly and do as the box tells us.   

I crawled into bed early last night.  I don't have a long list of platitudes for what I am thankful for, I don't desire to conform with my wishes of gratefulness to fit in with the millions of people I don't fit in with anyways.   So, I grabbed my camera, put my running gear on and went out to my Mom and Dad's place this afternoon.  My Siblings have turned into four wheeling fanatics, so what was once empty pasture is now trails cut across the property. I have plenty of private space to run.  No more worrying about passing traffic.  I like it.    Hopefully I won't meet wild critters in the daytime but you cant live your life in fear of random happenings.  

So, let me sell you more of my convincing lies of what a beautiful life I lead. It is a sin to waste beautiful lighting.  I love this time of day the glow the setting sun casts upon the landscape.   The dying leaves glow like fire on this old oak tree.  

I went on a four mile run around the 1.1 mile track around the back 40 acres.   It's actually a nice place.   I don't know why I like the shot above, because it is really not a great shot, but it is appealing.  

I feel like all my photographs look alike. Why do I do this?  Why do I bother anymore? There is no uniqueness, they are boring, predictible and they all look the same to me anymore.  They feel the same.  A little bit like life, it's like a record stuck on repeat, it skips back to the same track over and over again, looping through my mind in an endless succession.  Memories of past Thanksgivings, of good and bad, memories of other walks in the back pasture.  Memories of words spoken and words that I fear to speak.  Words that I won't say, or will never say again.  Words to alienate, words to hurt, words to damage.  Sometimes the most damaging things we can say are the things we don't say.    Yet, I grab the camera bag and leave the house, intending to find something unique.  Photography drives you to a certain perfection that you can never obtain, the lies you tell with your lens.  The lies you tell with your editing, cropping and adjusting an image until it suits your ideal.  Until that moment, that instant that you clicked the photograph and the reality you created for your viewers. 

Shopping does the same thing doesn't  it?  You go buy stuff; stuff that makes you look like you have it together financially.  You buy stuff that makes you feel like you're important, or cool.  You can talk about the stuff you have to your friends on Facebook. Your reality isn't your bank account balance it is the lies you tell everyone to convince them that you're happy.  Doesn't it all boil down to happiness?  We want others to believe we're happy, when we aren't.   If we really aren't happy people worry that we're depressed or even worse; crazy.   If we are not happy, society says to "get it in control"- go to the Doctor, take a pill.  We all know a pill will make everything better.  It will slay the invisible demons that we battle in our minds.  Just take a pill. 

Am I depressing you  yet?  No, well do you ever think about 10,000 years ago. Do you wonder if your paleo-ancestors battled depression?  "No, Bob I can't go hunt Mammoth today; I'm sad."  We evolved into the creatures we are today because of these people.  These people who were much stronger than we are with our soft hands and our flabby, whiny, out of shape fat bodies.  If they weren't they would die.  They did die.  They didn't have the pleasure of a civilization which caters to the weak, as ours does.  

We go shopping on Black Friday because of them. These individuals who forged out of skin, bone and rock the modern world.  Their tools were rocks, their strength was in throwing a rock mounted on a stick at a fast moving animal and killing it.   I wonder when I take classes that questions the sophistication of the ancient ones, and I think surely people are kidding when they question whether these people had religion or feelings or what they could possibly build.  These people who killed giant, furry mammoths with rocks are a class above me.  We should be questioning why they aren't held higher in esteem by our society.   There is no freaking way I could kill an elephant with a rock (or a squirrel for that matter)!  

This afternoon I went on a quest to defeat the brambles and climb rocks, like any fun loving 10 year old boy would do; except I'm a 35 year old woman.   I failed miserably at playing Halo on Xbox Live this afternoon.   I will never be a virtual warrior.   I may never be a virtual warrior, but I would like to be a rock climber someday. I want to climb mountains.  But right now, I need a machete -  that might slay the brambles that capture my limbs as I try to pass through the back pastures. 

The horse evolved in North America first; and spread throughout the world and went extinct on this continent.  Only to be reintroduced by the Spaniards.   Oh, I said the evolution word again, perhaps because it is rational.  This guy, the one pictured above,  he bites.   

A glowing collie.  Wren in the golden glow of the sinking sun. Is this what you envisioned when you clicked on my link about Black Friday?  Where are the crazy people, in their gluttonous hordes at Walmart and Target?  Where are the "door-busters," the super cheap crap that you can only buy the day after Thanksgiving.   

These images, the nature they represent are what so many people lack in their lives.  They get the standard industrial view of the world. Lanscapes marred by electrical lines, suburbs with groomed lawns.  Nature is in control along with the rest of their lives.  The lives of millions are viewed from the construct of the urban setting. 

It is never self-indulgent to spend time in nature.  I never feel like I'm "wasting time." I never feel like I'm wasting my day or my life.  This is quality solitude.  It is not loneliness or sadness.  The sheltering arms of nature that embrace you while you are out thinking.   The time that is spent by people like myself  capturing the light to bring it home and place it in our artificial world filled with words and computer screens.   That people who don't have access to this world of trees, dogs, horses, and brambles can use to fill their own imaginations and fuel their desires for nature.  

 

 

 

 

 

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Life is running hills.   I know plenty of people who don't like to walk hills, let alone run them.  I like being strong enough to run hills.  I may not be able to run a consistent 10 minute mile, but I can run a hill after a few weeks of training.   Today, I'm tired.  I guess it's a constant series of ups and downs, nothing profound.  Just another quote, just another runner, just another person saying something to the universe online. Just another voice that not every one will hear in the white noise that is the blogosphere.   

I'm having a mental block about creating a few slides for a slide show. I'm tired I don't feel like reading and I realize that I have a precious few weeks to finish off the semester and make myself go absolutely insane like I do at the end of every semester in Graduate school.   Yet here I am battling to upload transcripts to line myself for the competition to get myself some more education.   

Am I privileged ? Yes, does that matter? Does it matter if one person's situation is better than another.  Are you allowed to complain if someone thinks that you're thinner, or healthier or in a better position economically?  Are only those who've had absolute hell in their lives allowed to become memoir writers and write about their alcholism and their crazy families?   Who are you writing to?  Where is your voice?  Are we allowed to laugh at the dark humor we find in people's negative experiences?   Hell yeah we're allowed to laugh.   We're allowed to laugh at things that aren't politically correct, that don't please your family.  Who are we allowed to alienate when we write.  I've done that, I've alienated my family and loved ones when I was upset and wrote something they didn't like.   Why?  Because it was the truth through my eyes at the time and I couldn't create the understanding I wanted.    Because I wanted to bring people together and not tear them apart while at the same time not selling out my soul for my beliefs and emotions.  

 I was thinking about literature and writing and music and poetry and criticism.   Everyone is a writer and everyone is a critic.   Everyone is a writer now, pissing away their lives one tweet or one facebook status at a time.  One by one, all day long continually.   What some people mocked, they now enter willingly and addicted.  They log on and check to see what everyone else is doing in their inconsequential lives.  But, they don't consider themselves writers.   They don't consider our society of narcissists, they just take part in the machine that is life, the system that controls our addicted braincells.  They share, share, share the memes.   Herd mentality drives them to express mass anger at politicians and divide themselves based on their lack of understanding of the futility of the massive bloated government that lords over us telling us that we are free (we aren't).   

So, I write.   Does who I am please you?  Does it matter to me, the anti-social, self confessed introvert.  Does it matter to anyone.   I'm fascinated with the academic world of literary criticism (and art criticism).  So someone sits down to write their story, their life and there is this group of elite, educated folks who sit around and write about what other people write.  They aren't writing their own stories (or perhaps they are).  But they sit around and pass judgement on someone else's life or fiction or stories.  They lay theory and context down into their lives.  They argue whether their writings are good for society, or whether their stories are appropriate.  They argue about stereotypes and perpetuating them.  They criticize.   We have a field of study devoted to criticize, yet the critics all hold within their hearts that secret envy, or desire to be the person they tear down with their words.   They look at a picture or a painting and imagine deep meaning -  what if there was no deep meaning put into an image or a moment.   What if there is science in knowing you can get "the shot" knowing the lines, and angles create a composition that pleases everyones eyes.  It's not created out of emotion, it is what it is.   Meaningless, yet people take away beauty and meaning from other people's works.  They draw connection to celebrity, to song, to literature,  they value sports.   

Photography, like literature and music is a convincing lie.   Photography is where I take an image as I see it and improve it, I romanticize it.  I use technical knowledge and a observant eye.   I think writers are infinitely observant, they can write these images in their literature.  Musicians can write their emotions in a song.  I can take an image, the same one you may see when you're out with a point and click camera or your phone.  I can take it home and make it like you remember it. I can take a moment and glorify it.   If I choose, or I can make it ugly and dark.   

How hard is it for me to sell you my pretty little vison of the world? How hard would it be for you to convince you I've had my share of heartache and pain the last few years that you wouldn't want to step into my shoes.  Am I allowed to talk about the things that hurt me in the past without digging it back up and bringing it to life like the ever present zombies in our popular culture, it would come to life and eat my brain.   Am I allowed to say that I'm still driven by being called stupid as a kid. 

So this post is kind of ranting.   Well, you want to know me. I'm like that.  You want to hear the voice behind the photography, not just an amalgamation of bizarre quotes that I like.  

Writing is like red lipstick on a woman, it's powerful it is made to draw you in.  Capture you in it's hypnotism.  A good writer makes you want more.  A good writer makes you crave them and their words, the magic they work with their words.  They make you want to absorb their soul within yours.  Good writing is like a photograph,  a photograph that makes you want to go there and step into the photographers world, to see in their mind to be them, because you are intrigued and relate at the same time.   It's a mystery that you can never solve.   

 

 

Talimena Scenic Drive in The Fall

I have never been a great fan of the falling leaves and the weather that Autumn heralds, but I have to say this is a glorious drive to take in the Fall.  I was afraid I would miss it with appointments being changed from late October to early November, but apparently we had perfect timing.  

I love this view in the Spring and Summer but I didn't imagine the array of colors that there would be in the fall. 

Such a beautiful afternoon in the mountains.  People don't really think about the mountains of Oklahoma.   They talk of the Rocky Mountains, or the Smoky Mountains in other states but we don't hear about the Ouachitas very often.  It's a shame this is one spectacular place.  But maybe it isn't a shame, there arent' always hordes of tourists here.   It is peaceful.  

The window for fall photography is brief, we have such a vibrant display of colors for such a short time that you have to grasp the opportunity to photograph them while you can. 

There was a fire off in the distance...

We could talk about the election?  The stock market dropped 300 points.   Fear and social issues forced many one issue voters to the polls, and unfortunately religious zealotry keeps many people away from a party who has a realistic grasp on the economic realities that this nation faces.  

Nature doesn't care about politics.  There was nature before there was politics.  There was nature before the man tried to control it and tell it what to do...

I have more shots but this is enough for now! 

Creating A Routine

Routines are good for people like me.   I never thought I was a regimented sort of person for a long time, I always believed I was laid back, while I may be.  My house will never be spotless, I I don't worry about a lot of things that keep people up at night.   But, I need a goal to work on, or I end up frustrated and unhappy.  Goals are important, whether short or longterm.  You have to know where you are going and what you are doing to be able to have a vision for the future.  If you don't have that, you really are floating around in a sea of dreams and wishes without a plan.  

I'm busy struggling to create a running routine again.  I went, in the last year from four to six miles a day to none.   After a few years of running on a regular basis, it was put aside for my academic endeavor at the University of Oklahoma.   I'm a Master's degree candidate in the Native American Studies program, but before that I was a High School teacher.   

I started running before I got into photography, believe it or not.   I started exercising in the Fall of 2008.  I met a woman who said she'd rather run five miles a day than diet.   I thought that sounded like an excellent idea, since I am a fan of meat and potatoes and caffeinated sodas.   

I've moved recently and discovered that I need the solitude to run, although I can do it other places having a fear of neighbor's dogs charging me has made me want to retreat to the country roads, where there are more cows than people.  

I've been taking my camera with me, one thing I've missed this summer is the ability to go get the sunset shot.  The convenience of being near a town is nice, except for the people.   

It is almost Halloween here.  A useless Holiday.  I really don't care for it and never have.  I feel like it's absolutely ridiculous to refuse to call Halloween "Halloween" for religious purposes.  Perhaps people forget the Lords prayer and what "Hallow" means?  Also, why do we have dates for "Holidays" (Oh- yeah that means Holy Day)   when towns and city councils can arbitrarily decide to "celebrate"them on a different evening.   It irks me.   Stop it, quit being stupid Americans.   

I'm tryng to write more on here.  Perhaps to reveal a little more about me than the images that you see.  Maybe to offend a few more of my readers with my opinions and thoughts.  

So if this turns from a travel blog to a more personal one, well I'm accepting donations for road trips elsewhere. Don't hesitate to send money if you desire.  I have never been very good at separating my world into categorized spaces.  I see everything in terms of a big picture.  Sometimes it is great for learning.  Sometimes it is confusion.  

 

Hat Top in the moonlight and it's time to end this posting.   I hope my running routine will bring you more nature and landscape shots, just as I enjoy shooting them.   

Red River Birthday

Last Sunday I skipped church and headed to the Red River to help my big brother celebrate his birthday.  He's ten years older than I am, but we won't discuss numbers for now.   

We started the day with pizza and cupcakes, just like any birthday party should... 

They arrived before I did, I overslept and was not exactly in the best mood when I arrived.  But it's always fun to go four wheeling.   I don't drive.   I'm a passenger.  

Dune buggy under the Red River bridge, near Waurika. 

We're throwing up mud, while my sister follows from behind.   She wrecked.  Had I not been worried I could have had some great pictures of someone flying off a four wheeler.   

My brother in law was  covered in mud.  He was worse when we left the river.  

Yeah..that's me... with the mud on my face.   I don't mind getting dirty but I don't really like getting my face dirty.  

My brother is in the middle and my sister is in white, and yours truly apparently was not muddy enough for this photo.  Thanks Sis.   

They look lost don't they? 

My sister crossing the Red River, did you know there are two Red Rivers in the USA?  Yes there is a Red River that runs between the North Dakota and Minnesota border, it is the Red River of the North.    

My big brother from another Mother...  It's his birthday now! Happy Birthday, and I owe you some family photos.   

My little sister is a gun toting, country music listening, four wheeling "Redneck Woman"

Why would driving around in circles in the sand be fun,  because it's awesome! I want to go back to Little Sahara SOON...  that place is incredible.  

Like slides for four wheelers...  "wheeeee"  

I like this photo.  I like this bridge.  

He had to be towed out of the river a few times... 

Yeah we had fun last Sunday.  

 

 

 

That Awkward Moment

Are you sick of seeing these little catch phrases that have taken over the internet?  Or the Memes that are reposted in a seemingly endless Facebook phenomenom.   So, "That awkward moment when you think you saved your post and your server says you didn't"  - just happened.  I'm growing increasingly frustrated with typepad and the amount of work I'm doing to create postings that are being lost in the billions of particles of data being transmitted over the web.  So I wasn't really writing anything important tonight.   Probably more random than usual, but afterall it is my blog and I don't see any of you sending me a check every month (although I'm sure that could be arranged).   

So I'm driving home from my run, because I don't like dogs nipping at my heels unless they are my dogs on a run.   I am getting in the habit of grabbing my camera bag whenever I leave, because it is frustrating to see a great shot and be without a camera.   So, I didn't plan on taking any photos today, because 4,000 images in 30 days is enough don't you think?  But, I did. 

I've driven by these trees a million times (well not actually a million times you super literal people- but a lot).  And although they are interesting I have not found that actual moment that compelled me to stop my car, get my camera out and take a shot.  Well I did tonight.    

So this sign caught my eye as I was turning the corner and didn't have anyone to yield to.  

Yield on Baseline Road - Which I have posted about before - nothing exciting.  Feel free to google the link though, I'm sure not many have written about this place.   

As the sun was sinking on Old Highway 7.   

So, as a photographer I notice the kinds of photos people take of themselves, and women.  One genre of photography I've seen more links for lately is called boudoir photography  - of course that is French for a Ladies bedroom.   It is like the 2012 remake of the 1990s "Glamour" shots - but more glamorous.   

Oh, this is me - by the way.  I'm so much cooler online.   But, I've heard this boudior photography being called "empowering" to women and I wonder is it really empowering?  I doesn't offend my sensibilities because I think it is important to be comfortable in your own skin.  But there is a difference between me, taking my own photos and paying someone $1000 or more (I've seen websites that charge up to $5,000) to make me feel "sexy."   It is commercialized instead of private.   So, I do have a problem with women, essentially buying their self-esteem in a package.  

 

 People with expensive cameras like to obscure our faces with those expensive cameras...is it a form of symbolism, does the camera become our personality?   Is it to show off our prowess and skills? 

In some countries women are not allowed to leave their houses without veils.  We spend so much time judging women based on their behavior and dress.  We are still tied to the morality that says women should behave in a certain manner.  I also love how these pages say that Photography is an "Investment"  Two hours and $800- 1200 dollars - how can you put a price on a luxury, pampering experience.  

This photo is an example of over-editing.  I ran it through a program that has lots of layers and frames. Notice how the details are gone, it's just kind of one big blur... the frame takes your eye away from the person and the lighting is soft.   Not reality - but does it work for aesthetics?  

 

I thought I'd bring you into my mind and show you how effectively ADHD works to distract me. Although I don't consider it an attention deficit because I'm always thinking about something.  I'm just not thinking in a linear manner.  It is one point leads me to another and I think in circles.   But perhaps Western Civilization is our problem.  We are taught that there is only one way, while there are many ways.   

So, back to women.   We send so many messages to women and young girls constantly through the conglomerate that is our mass media.  Most importantly is to be pretty.  Be smart, but be pretty.   But then we constantly see the media bashing people for their weight, our society says appearance matters.   Media sends us the message to be pretty, like the ladies in the magazines..  but not "too pretty."  If you appear too pretty you will be labeled as a "slut" or a "whore" or any other number of misogynistic labels applied to women for their sexuality.   Try, but not too hard.  But make sure you are somewhat ashamed of your body or appearance.  It is like seeing a woman being blamed for rape!  Society will blame the woman based on her attractiveness, not the crime!  It is ridiculous.   

So as the sun goes down and I travel my brief journey through the backroads home, I am grateful that I live in a place where the issues are not me driving, not me being allowed to speak my mind or vote how I please. I realize that there truly is not a war on women in this country.  The war on women with the United States is the fact that we continue to provide aid money to nations who openly and actively subjugate women through religious practices. I have issues with my tax dollars going to prop up these puppet governments in nations that would not respect my basic human rights.  Sometimes I think people focus on irrelevent issues because it is much easier to talk about them and legislate them than the hard issues.  The ones where people need to stand up for individual rights in society.  

 

A Procrastinating Post

As I sit and think about what I'm going to write on a midterm.  I will post a few photos that I got on my walk the other day.   I like to think when I walk, it gives me time to clear my head and think about the past, future and present.   So here are a few images from a four mile walk this week, but without my thoughts, but some of T.S. Eliot's quotes.   He was a great mind.   

What we call the beginning is often the end.  And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.  ~T.S. Eliot 

Where is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information ~T.S. Eliot

Humankind cannot bear very much reality ~T.S. Eliot 

It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind. ~T.S. Eliot

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. ~T.S. Eliot 

Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity. ~T.S. Eliot