Tonight I did what I love. I walked, I took photos. I didn't have enough time, but I had some. I want to write about passion and I will. I think about a lot of things that I don't write about, I would be a much better writer if I were writing my thoughts down as I walked, but I'm clumsy and would fall on my face and break my camera.
I'm reading less of the news lately. I haven't had time for it. But I still don't understand getting all worked up about something that doesn't have a lot to do with you. Brutality, stupidity, inhumanity is part of what makes us human, I guess. We can't change the dialogue that our mass media is shoving down our throats, this dichotomy used to divide people by color, class, political affiliation and religion. This click-bait society wants the strife because it brings advertisers and viewers to these news-channels. So all of that money that you go out and spend on Friday is paying for this Ferguson unrest, paying for it to stream into your feeds --paying for it to be on your television. Paying for it to divide Democrats from Republicans and Social Justice Warriors from Officers of the Peace. Turn off your televisions, stop clicking the articles.
People will always fight. There will always be war. There will always be strife. Look at how we identify peoples of the past; by their projectile points; by their battles; by their warriors. "Hey look at these people their arrowheads are shaped differently - they must have a different name-- like the Clovis people- Folsom, etc." But on Friday when you head out for your doorbusters, remember you are supporting the click-bait media. You're supporting big web pages who can't "afford" to pay their contributors and writers. You support the machine with your materialism, while you share your justice memes on Facebook.
Obsession is an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind. So, I have read people talking about their "passion for photography" and wonder why they are only taking photographs sporadically and why I am out every day I can. I know I'm not passionate about photography- I do know that I'm an obsessive personk and I continually think about photography - so, for four years since 2010 you have witnessed the growth of my obsession with pohotography.
That rig doesn't quite look right to me, but I finished editing it anyways. So, when people ask about my "talent" or "gift"- I want to argue with them. It's hours and hours devoted to my "obsession'- I study photography. I study good photographers - I read about editing. I watch tutorials. I believe that some people may have an eye for compositions but I do not think that growth comes naturally. You can be good at something or love something and your skills won't improve unless you work at it.
But with a self taught skill you are inherently filled with self-doubt and when it is a craft such as photography you are continually comparing yourself to your peers. It is filled with insecurities. Because there is always something you don't know, or your images just aren't where you want them to be...
So you pair this obsession, confidence, self-doubt and throw in an knowing you can be amazing...if only. If only you had that lens that would make this type of images sharper. You could be better if you aquired more sweet, sweet, glass. If you had that gear. It's true my skills have improved with better lenses- but only because I'm learning how to use them to get the outcome I want. So, I am a sufferer of the G.A.S - which I'm sure my camera store appreciates. Which, while I'm at it... go to Bedfords.
The old Dodge Charger this evening. I'm still blown away by the amount of portrait work that I've done this year, and this week is a much welcome break. I don't want to be as busy as many portrait photographers are. I never wanted my hobby to become my work, that was never a goal. Being successful at photography is something I am still working on. I am glad people enjoy my work enough to pay me for it. But, I haven't had a weekend since August.
So turn off your televisions, and go do something that you're passionate (or obsessive about).